During his monologue on the latest edition of HBO’s Real Time, Bill Maher tore into what he called Donald Trump’s “war on facts,” as well as his series of freedom-stripping executive orders—which he seems to be reveling in due to the ceremony and photo ops.
“He keeps holding the executive orders up after he signs them, like, ‘Look! Look mommy, I finished my coloring! Maybe we can put it on the refrigerator!’ The problem is, you know, executive orders are a real thing. When Obama did it he had the lawyers go over it, people knew what was happening in the departments. No one knows how these things are going to work! Nobody knows where the money’s coming from. They’re just signed tweets,” said Maher.
“Trump’s first week was—oh my god—it was like the last half-hour of Goodfellas, where Ray Liotta is coked out of his mind and doing ten things at once,” he continued. “He’s dropping off a trunk full of handguns, and he’s making spaghetti sauce, and helicopters are chasing him. It can’t really go on like this for four years, can it? I’m gonna lose my mind.”
Maher then focused on Trump’s first-week delusions, including that 3-5 million people voted illegally for Hillary Clinton (not true), and that his Inauguration Day crowd was the largest ever (not even close).
“There is, in just one week, a lot to be very alarmed about. But I gotta put on the top of my list the fact that the President of the United States sees multitudes that do not exist,” said Maher. “He insisted that the crowd size at the inauguration was the biggest ever—and that aerial photography is just a theory. But we saw this! We saw these pictures. Half the mall covered in whiteness—but enough about his supporters. I mean, he can’t stand it that when it comes to the size of the crowd, Obama’s was bigger. This is about cock, right? This is about dick! This is about a guy who never brought a woman to orgasm, that’s what this is about. He probably doesn’t even think it really exists in a woman: It’s rigged. The vagina is very rigged.”
“And then we’re told, you know, that there are such things as ‘alternative facts.’ That’s what this week will be known for: ‘alternative facts,’” Maher added. “And Sean Spicer, his press secretary, about the crowd size he just went, ‘This is what the President believes. You’re on your own.’ I think the difference between Scientology and Donald Trump is that Scientology has better celebrities.”